The Phone
by jollygoauld
Summary: Jack regrets and hates the phone.spoilersseason 9 not specific
1. chapter 1

Author: jollygoauld

Age: all spoilers: general spoilers up to and including season 9 nothing specific

Genre: Sorrow , romance.

Pairings: Sam and Jack

Summary: Jack regrets and hates the phone.

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate or any of its characters. I am making no profit from this. Storyline belongs to me however.

**The Phone**

The phone on his desk taunted him. Depending on his mood, the reasons varied. However they all seemed to be related to one particular issue, or in fact one particular person. He looked weary, the job should have let him age more slowly than the previous one, but there was more grey and wrinkles, he looked and felt like an old man. His desk was littered with paperwork, although he was actually ahead with it all. The pieces of paper on his desk were draft copies waiting to be chucked in the bin.

He hated paperwork, but at least while he was immersed in it he could ignore the phone on his desk. Now he had finished the work, the phone was beckoning him. With a sigh, his lined, scared and pale hand (he had barely seen daylight recently) picked up the receiver; he knew the number off heart; he started to dial but slammed it back down before entering the last digit. He often hoped that 'that' number would call him; in fact every time the phone rang he held his breath.

He was sitting where he was because according to some important people he was a hero, but now he seriously doubted it. 'Maybe the past few years had been to save his own butt and nothing to do with earth' he thought as he slid down in his leather office chair. He was a coward, and was ruining his own life because of it, he had almost destroyed his closest friendships, well he hoped almost. He often hoped that 'that' number would call him; in fact every time the phone rang he held his breath.

If only he just could pick up that damn phone maybe he could salvage his life. After all, the galaxy was safe once again from threat, and SG-1 had done it all without him. His thoughts returned unbidden to that "moment" the moment that made Jack hate that damn phone.

It was a little chilli in the evening time but the feel of the sun on his face was lovely. Not as nice however as the wonderful woman sitting next to him. Yes she was blonde, blue eyed and tall, and yes she had those looks, which meant men noticed her when she walked by. When she had walked in that briefing room he had remembered thinking, "That's pretty nice" as if she was an item not a person, something jack always regretted. He hadn't fallen in love with her at first; after all he was still getting over Sarah and mourning his son, Charlie. Instead he had grown to trust her, trust her with his life. He came to realise that she was as stubborn as a mule, but that just made her a better soldier and scientist. She had saved earth many a time, and although he was always leading SG-1 on those potential suicide missions it was always her great ideas that saved the day. Slowly and at first without realising it he had fallen in love with the angel that was Samantha Carter.

He hadn't really realised he was in love; until he thought he was about to lose her, and then he would rather had died himself then lose her. In fact it wasn't long after that incident that those feelings came to the surface. He had sacrificed his happiness that day, in order to do the right thing; after all they were pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

It was their last night at his cabin. He couldn't help but stare at her lips, while she was staring at her float in the water. Those lips he had tasted several times now, once an alternate version of her and another time she would never know about. He could hear Teal'c and Daniel playing chess in the cabin, but their sounds were muffled.

That night after a not so successful BBQ the 'original' SG-1 sat around chatting and laughing. They knew that Jack was leaving them, ushering in a new era for all of them. Teal'c had obviously made up his mind to leave them although he had not talked about it and Daniel was contemplating some remote dig.

Daniel was driving Teal'c back early the next day so that he could meet Rya'k. They both wondered off to bed about 10:00pm leaving Sam and Jack sitting next to each other on Jack's comfy sofa. Both were holding half drunk bottles of beer loosely in their hands, one of many bottles they had drunk that evening. Jack noticed a glow in Sam, one he hadn't seen for years. After what they had been through the innocent glow even when she was working on some project had gone; but now she looked refreshed, from the hope of safety and peace and the company of friends.

Jack couldn't remember much of what they talked about, although he was pretty sure Jacob and Pete had come up that night (the drink blocking the memories). There were a few things that stood out that night, the way Sam had curled up on the sofa, leaning into him and when he had wrapped his arm lightly round her, she had stroked his hand and traced the scars on it. He had kissed the forehead when she had mentioned Janet, and a few tears had slid down her face. It was a comforting kiss, one born from his sorrow for her.

At about 3am they made the decision to hit the sack. Sam had turned and hugged Jack. He then on the spur of the moment kissed her on the lips. He felt her freeze when their lips touched, and then he was pushed back hard to see Sam more angry then he had ever seen her (well no doubt she had been that angry but he was to busy dealing with the situation to notice) and now the anger was directed at him. He had actually felt scared. Her lips went thin and she paled visibly, her eyes pierced his and when she spoke her voice was low and cold, "How dare you. I waited years and now on your terms you kiss me. Well sorry I've lived enough of my life to know that I can't do that. I thought you were better than that." She opened the door to her room and turned, "I'll leave at the same time as the others. I think it's the best idea don't you?" He knew that although it was a question, he wasn't meant to answer.

The next morning at about 8am they left, Sam not even saying goodbye. Jack just stood there and watched her go. He had tried to talk to her, to apologise but she just shrugged him off. The last he saw of her was her car driving away from him.

He had gone to the SGC but Sam was never there for his planned visits, she had always requested leave or was off world. And now he was stuck looking at the phone that he was too afraid to use and would never ring. He pulled out of his desk draw a picture of SG-1, it in fact had both Daniel, Jonas and Janet with Cassie in the picture as well as Jack, Sam and Teal'c. He smiled bitterly, Janet was dead and he hadn't seen Jonas for a long time (he had weirdly started to think of him as a friend). Cassie was at college, far away from Washington. His eyes kept focusing on 'her' again. He missed Sam so much, just to be her friend again, to see her. Once again he sat and watched the phone.


	2. Chapter 2

Author: jollygoauld

Age: all spoilers: general spoilers up to and including season 9 nothing specific

Genre: Sorrow, romance.

Pairings: Sam and Jack

Summary: Jack regrets and hates the phone.

Notes: Thanks for all of the lovely feedback!

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate or any of its characters. I am making no profit from this. Storyline belongs to me however

The phone part 2: Sam's office 

Sam sat filling out reports on the latest mission SG-1 had been on. It had been one of those desert planets, it had reminded Daniel of Abydos. So straight after the mission (well after the infirmary and a shower) they had gone and had a beer at her house. She felt so sorry for Daniel, he had loved Sha're so much, he would have died for her, in fact he nearly had died by her.

That was what love was about, not just wanting to be with the person, or the kisses and sexual pleasure but be more than willing to sacrifice your world for that person, to be loyal, to give everything for them. That's how she had known that she needed to end it with him. The job would come first, no matter what, even if he were dying, if the world needed saving she would be the one doing it. It wasn't fair on him, or even her.

The phone rang, making Sam's heart leap into her mouth, 'what if?' entered her mind. She picked it up to find Cassie on the other end. It was only a quick call, she was stuck on an equation for her assignment, and Sam was an obvious choice to ask for help, she also let Sam know she was ok, following the other day's breakdown on the phone. It had been the anniversary of Janet's death.

Sam tried to carry on and finish her report, but a photo caught her eye. A photo of SG-1, it in fact had Daniel, Jonas and Janet with Cassie in the picture as well as Jack, Sam and Teal'c. Half those people she had no contact with, well she had seen Jonas more recently than Jack or Janet, and he was happy at least. Jonas had managed to get his own version of the SGC involving all the countries, Sam had been jealous, the excitement and hope in his eyes.

Sam sighed; she was determined to be a happy single, and one by choice. She was married to the SGC she had been for years now; it would destroy any other love. It actually fitted into her definition of love; she would die for the SGC, she had lost friends because of it yet she stayed, she defended it, and nothing kept her away from it. Its just it was hard. She decided to hunt out Daniel and coffee; she wouldn't finish the report without it. She got up, looked at the 'damn' phone, turned and walked out of the room.

Feedback greatly appreciated.

Jollygoauld


	3. Chapter 3

Notes: Thanks for all of the lovely feedback!

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate or any of its characters. I am making no profit from this. Storyline belongs to me however

The phone part 2: A hangover for one 

Sam woke up with a start. She had been dreaming that she was shooting O'Neill, (not what she usually did to him). When Sam had fully awoken she realised that someone was banging the door down, she very quickly shoved on her slippers and dressing gown. She rushed to the door knowing that most of the women on the street would be looking out of their windows, especially at this time in the morning.

She was welcomed by Daniel and Teal'c; holding flowers, chocolate and what looked like a picnic basket. She squinted at them; the sun was hurting her eyes; what were they doing at that time in the morning at her house baring gifts? "Have you broken what I was working on, Daniel?" she demanded.

"No…" Daniel frowned at Teal'c obviously confused. Teal'c addressed Sam in his usual serious tone, "Is it not the anniversary of the day of your birth?"

"What's the date?"

"The 29th of December, Sam. Four days after Christmas. Are you o.k?"

Sam grinned, "the amount of times Tracey dragged me out drinking I'm surprised I know my own name!" She then grabbed her head, "Come in. I need to get sunglasses and some aspirin" They followed her into the house and waited while Sam got ready, occasionally looking at their watches.

Sam eventually came in the room wearing jeans, a blue tee and her military sunglasses. "Sorry guys thanks for coming round." She walked towards the kitchen, "coffee?"

"I already made some, it's in the pot. Thought you might need some for that hangover" smirked Daniel. Even Teal'c seemed amused. "Thanks, you're right. I vaguely remember going to O'Malleys last night and…"

"Were you not all banned from there?" asked Teal'c quizzically. "To packed to notice me, plus I was without you guys. And Tracey helped, you've seen her very pretty and flirty. " Sam laughed as Daniel went red, making a mental note to set him up with her.

"You've got time for one quick coffee then we have to go. It's 12:45." Said Daniel hurriedly.

"12:45!" Sam had no idea it was that late; she had presumed it was morning. "Umm _where are_ we going?"

"It's a surprise, a birthday treat" Daniel saw Sam's worried face. "It's a good surprise I promise." Sam still did not look sure. "It'll be better than last year, honest!

Sam gulped down her hot coffee and searched for a jumper and scarf. As soon as she had found them she was bundled out of the door by her two friends.

They had been driving for a while, with country and western music blaring out; Teal'c's latest obsession. Sam was lost in her own world for most of the drive till she realised they were going to the airport. "Daniel, Teal'c, umm why are we going to the airport?" She wasn't sure if it was hope or fear she was feeling, _but_ what if it _was_ Jack.

"Sam I told you it's a surprise! How old are you?" Daniel found it too easy to tease Sam.

They pulled up in the waiting bay just as Cassie came running out with her suitcase, waving frantically. Teal'c the perfect gentleman got out of the car and took Cassie's luggage, putting it in the boot. Cassie climbed in the back next to a very shocked Sam. Sam stared at her and then lunged forward to hug her.

Daniel drove off, without the country and western music, instead the car was filled with happy chatter, and Cassie's tales of Christmas with her boyfriend's family.

Feedback loved if you want to give some! I even want the negative stuff!  
Jollygoauld


	4. Chapter 4a

Disclaimer –The characters and every thing else copyrighted are owned by MGM, Gekko etc. ect.

Story is mine all mine I tell you (sorry brief moment of madness).

The phone part 4: A picnic? Off world?

Daniel had been driving in circles, Sam had been too excited, and possibly slightly drunk still, to notice, not for an hour anyway! She glanced out of the window, and saw the same grocery store for the hundredth time, "Daniel, what are you doing, are you lost?"

Everyone in the car laughed loudly, confusing Sam, for a second she had wondered if the aliens had taken over the SGC again. Cassie still laughed, "I won the bet! I knew it would take you forever to notice. Daniel, you owe me $20 please."

Daniel cringed, he hated losing bets especially to a 20 year old, who he had seen grow up. "Sam if this happened off world you would have noticed straight away!"

"Daniel we have never come across cars off world!"

"You know what I mean. Anyway put this on" He passed back a piece of black material.

"Where's it meant to go?"

Teal'c answered her, "It is a blindfold. I believe it is part of the surprise."

Sam reluctantly put it on, although it did seem to help with the headache.

Teal'c had decided he needed to listen to another country and western CD while they were driving. They had been in the car for another hour when Daniel had announced, "Were practically here now"

Cassie unintentionally let Sam know something odd was going on when she blurted out, "Huh? Daniel we're not near there. Aren't we going to…"

Teal'c turned round with a raised eyebrow at the same time as Daniel shouted, "Cassie!" stopping her from spoiling the surprise.

Daniel calmed down, but had to tease Cassie, after all it was his job as honorary uncle,

"Cassie how many people know about the stargate?"

"Huh, erm…" she tried to think about what the answer was but she wasn't even sure of the question, "… what?"

"How many people have you told?"

Teal'c was smiling, at least what they had come to believe was a smile, and Sam, although thinking it was cruel, was grinning. However Cassie wasn't looking at them.

Cassie got over her initial shock and replied, " No one! I mean who would believe me? I'm from Toronto." She was still shaking her head once she had finished her statement. However she caught Sam and Teal'c smiling,

"What's this about?"

Daniel not completely cold hearted, and gave way to laughter, "I'm just surprised. You cant keep the location of a picnic secret how do you manage the 'I'm an alien' one?"

"Well… You… Oh, Shut up!" Some how she felt like a child again, not that she minded it felt like the good old days, she could almost imagine her mum joining in on the joke – well Janet anyway.


	5. Chapter 4b

The phone part 4: A picnic? Off world?-2

Sam was trained to use all of her senses to keep her alive, so lacking eyesight her other senses came into play. She could feel and hear even though the motor was quiet that Daniel was having a hard time reversing the car into where ever they were parking. Strangely the only place she had seen Daniel struggle to park was his place at the SGC, it was a ridiculously small space, probably given as a joke, but Daniel would never complain.

Finally the car stopped and Sam felt Teal'c's strong hands guide out of the car. She was lead down what felt like a long path, they paused for a minute and ear plugs were placed into her ears, making her rely even more on her few remaining senses. Teal'c continued to guide her into a small room, she then realised it was a lift; Sam had felt the floor almost drop away. They were in there for a long time.

She was taken along many corridors, until they stopped. They then went through something that felt like the stargate. Sam almost believed she had just gone through the gate, but she knew better than to think that Gen. Landry would allow SG-1 (3/4 of the team at least) plus a 20-year-old alien go through the gate on a picnic.

The problem was that she could feel a strong sun shinning down on her. Her earplugs were taken out and she could hear the breeze in the trees and the birds. She was too dumbfounded to talk. How had they managed it? She had gone through the gate! Sam was guided to sit down on a blanket and she heard the picnic hamper open.

Daniel was the first one to speak, although Sam could sense they were all looking at her, "Well we're here. You can take off your blindfold now."

Sam started to untie it, but Cassie took over as she could see the knots. "Which planet is it?"

Sam was startled by Teal'c's hearty laugh and was about to reply when Cassie whipped away the blindfold.

Sam opened her mouth and closed it several times like a goldfish, "How, how did you manage this! It's amazing, the effort you all went to"

"It was nothing, we all played our part" replied Daniel casually as if it was something he did often.

Sam was almost certain she had never felt so special before. She was with people that were more than two aliens and a geek, more than comrades, associates, even friends. They were family.


	6. Chapter 4c

Sam found herself sitting on a large blanket with a picnic basket in front of her. She looked at the walls round her, white but large pictures of exotic beaches, palm trees and rainforests had hid them. It was her blue carpet on the floor although it was covered with bamboo mats. The heat came from large heat lamps scattered around the edge of the room. The sound of the breeze and birds came from Sam's very own Cdplayer sitting on a low coffee table.

Sam looked at Cassie who looked extremely pleased with herself, like a small child again. Sam couldn't help but think how remarkable it was to see Cassie look so young and innocent as often as she had today, after all Cassie had been through it was good to know she was still able to feel positive emotions; not just fear and hatred.

"Can I keep my room like this?" Sam asked the room. It made her feel peaceful and youthful.

"You get everything bar the Lamps. Were renting them" replied Daniel. Although his voice would have sounded serious to a stranger Sam could see the twinkle in his eye and the slight inflection in the voice, as could Teal'c and Cassie.

"Hang on" said Sam frowning, "The lift and the wormhole" she paused confused, "I don't remember having them in my house. OK the wormhole but not the lift"

"Samantha Carter it would no longer be a mystery for you to solve if we told you. I believed you liked to investigate. Do you not?" Teal'c had a brotherly love for Sam, and part of being a brother is getting to tease your younger siblings mercilessly.

"And I believe part of a picnic is food?" Teal'c had the hugest appetite that Cassie couldn't help but giggle which started Sam off, eventually Daniel joined in, managing to snort in the process. Leaving Teal'c sitting there slightly disgruntled and famished until they stopped.

The picnic was filled with laughter and happiness. Better than any relaxation that a tropical beach could have offered. The Beach Boys were played with Daniel and Cassie dancing along, and not the sort of moves that should be used in public, ever! Tactfully the others did not bring up Jack and Sam left him in the back of her mind (which considering its size is very, very far from her current thoughts).

Until 7'O' clock life was fun and childlike. Sam was ripped away by the phone. It was Jack singing happy birthday down the phone.


	7. Chapter 5

Changes chapter 5

Sorry for the long wait! I got writers block, moved to uni and forgot all about the story till now.

Sam felt anger wash through her, if it wasn't for the fact that it was obvious that the others in the room could hear it was General O'Neill, she'd have thrown the phone back down on the hook. She breathed out and remembered that she was the better, stronger and definitely more polite person.

"Hello sir, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to call me."  
"No problem Carter, is there something wrong on your end? You sound a little stiff. No aliens? No rouge NID?"  
"No sir, everything is fine."  
"Cassie and SG1 ok?" Jack was desperate now, it had been months since he had heard her voice and all she sounded now was bored and annoyed.  
"They're fine sir." Sam was determined to sound professional, even though her heart was still healing from the wound he had caused.  
"I take it they're still there from the sound of the beach boys coming from your end of the phone?"  
Sam's confusion ruled over her for a second, "How the hell do you know about that?"  
"You might avoid me Carter, but I don't avoid you or the rest of SG1. I'll see you at the bases inspection tomorrow since you're scheduled to be in your lab tomorrow."

Sam looked at the phone as it went dead; she internally calmed her mind, which was plotting ways of revenge. How could he say he'd not been avoiding her? Why was everything always on his terms? He always made out that he hated being in charge, yet from his actions Sam couldn't help but believe that he must love it.

She plastered a smile back on her face; she was going to enjoy the rest of the evening with her family. She turned around to see three disappointed faces. Now what has she'd done ran through her head.

"What's up? Need more wine, or more ice-cream maybe?"  
Daniel shook his head slowly, while T'ealc gave her a look of disapproval, but it was Cassie who spoke,

"What the hell happened between you to talk to each other like that? In fact what right do you have to speak to him like that?" Cassie sounded too much like Janet used to when she was giving her a proverbial slap around the face.

Sam sat down on the mat and reached for her glass of white wine.

"Cass it's complicated. Ok? He's my superior officer and I shall talk to him as that and not as a friend. He isn't part of SG1 anymore."

Daniels' eyes narrowed, "So if me or T'ealc left the SGC, we'd no longer be one of your friends? And how has Jonas managed to stay one of your friends when he's not even on the planet?"

"Daniel! You both will stay my friends no matter what, you know that."

T'ealc raised his eyebrow, "May I ask why then, General O'Neill is not also given this treatment?"

"It's complicated." Sam downed the rest of wine, this birthday surprise was turning worse then last years surprise. Well at least there were no indecently dressed clowns, she thought, well not yet anyway.

"Best friends tell each other things, especially the complicated things."

"Not this time Daniel."

"If not us, then who? Because you cant keep this inside"

"Damn it Daniel, yes I can. It's what I do, you do, we all damn well do it. We're keeping one huge secret, we've been keeping it for years, so what's a few more little ones? We keep the pain inside from deaths, injuries and who knows what else. I'll survive because I have to survive. It's my job"

Daniel locked eyes with Sam for a moment, a silent battle of wills taking place.  
"Fine Sam. Hope your birthday wasn't too much of a shambles. I better be going, need to grab some sleep since its back to work tomorrow." Daniel turned to T'ealc, "T'ealc do you mind if I give you a lift back now?"  
"That would be most kind of you Daniel Jackson".

Cassie gave what Sam could only see as only a 'I'm sorry' look. Why was Cassie sorry? She couldn't have know how awkward the topic, 'General Jack O'Neill' was.  
"Daniel, is it still err, ok to stay the night at yours?" Cassie gave a look to Daniel to show that she knew that he'd never offered her a bed for the night.  
"Sure Cass might need to help me make the bed though."

Sam looked at Cass, so that's what she was apologising for. Since Janet's death Cassie had always stayed at Sam's house, even if Sam wasn't there. Sam stayed sitting, staring into her empty glass as everyone else stood up and collected their stuff, and unplugged the heat lamps.  
Sam finally dragged herself to her feet, pretending that the real reason for them going was that it was work the next day and not her words. Sometimes you had to lie to protect yourself, especially when it's to yourself.

Sam escorted them to the door, and opened it, allowing Daniel and T'ealc through the door, as they were carrying two heat lamps each. Luckily the lamps height could be shortened to fit into Daniels' boot. Once the boot was closed they waved and climbed onto the front seats.

Cassie walked passed Sam and through the door, but then she paused, turned and walked back. Cassie threw her arms around Sam, and whispered into her ear, "I live my life as the girl from Vancouver, who's real mum died in a car crash, and who's adoptive mother died in an accident while on duty. We should only ever lie because we have to, not because we want to." With that Cassie pulled away and ran to the car, leaving Sam to lose the door, sink to the floor and cry for the first time in a long while.


	8. Chapter 6

Sam finally dragged herself back into the living room and switched off the music

Sam finally dragged herself back into the living room and switched off the music. On the table was an un-opened bottle of wine. Sam looked at it, should she, she hadn't done that since she was young, and she'd already had a bottle… while the angel was telling her no the devil grabbed the bottle opened it and started to pour it down her throat missing out the glass stage. In ten minutes the bottle was empty and Sam curled up on the floor to sleep.

Sam woke up to her phone ringing; it felt like it was inside her head it was so loud. Sam tried to sit up but a blast of nausea pushed her back to the ground. Sam tried again; a hangover was no worse then being injured in the field she told her reluctant body. She crawled to the phone,

"Hello?" it was meant to sound assertive but came out as a croak.

"Sam get here now, you were due in ten minutes ago, and Jack will not be pleased if you don't show. He looks in a foul mood. Well I don't blame him but still."

Sam interrupted him, "Daniel, you're rambling. And please don't shout"

"Oh erm sorry. And I'm not shouting. Are you ok? You don't sound too good"

"I'm fine, I think, but is there any chance you could come pick me up, I'm not sure I'm able to drive"

"Why aren't you able to drive?" panic was in Daniels voice, he knew Sam loved to be behind the wheel.

"I just had a bit too much to drink" Sam cringed, but at least Daniel would keep it secret.

"I'm on my way. Get ready fast and get some coffee. I'll say your car broke down"

"Thanks Daniel, I really owe you one"

"Yeah you do, but thankfully I know how you can pay be back. I'll explain when I get there" Daniel put the phone down, leaving Sam on the other end no choice but to move, take some aspirin and get ready fast.


End file.
